How to REALLY screw with peoples heads

Well, since i was too much of a bum to make some other "how to's" Im doing two this week, so for those of you reading, be prepared to MESS WITH YOUR FRIENDS MINDS!!!

HOW TO HYPNOTIZE A CHICKEN (i learned this one from an uncle of mine)
1. Lay the chicken down on its side, with one wing tucked under its body, and its head flat on the floor.

2. Use your left hand to gently hold the chiken steady

3. with the index finger of your right hand trace a line, 1 foot long, straight out from the tip of its beak. Repeat this movement until the chicken is in a hypnotic trance.

4. To wake your chicken, gradually raise your voice until it comes to, and runs away.

HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE IS LYING.

1. Unusual stuttering or stammering may suggest that tehy are nervous and could be an indication to lying

2. Note any changes in the person's pattern of speech. See if they seem high pitched, put on a silly voice, speak too quickly or slwly, or use unusual words. For instance, does it sound as though the person has memoriezed their story by heart?

3. Watch out for visible signs of stress or nervousness - sweating, twitching, scratching, rubbing, looking away, shifting around, crossing and uncrossing the legs, rapid breating - all of these indicate that the person might not be telling the whole truth.

4. There are other signs to consider. Get the person to go over the story again - but not in sequence. ask probing questions. Does he or she seem confused? Or appear to contradict him or herself? Ask about unimportant detail (along the lines of "What color was his t-shirt"). Someone who is telling the truth is less likely to get muddled and anxious, even though they might have forgotten some of the details.

5. Some say that if the "suspect," when questioned, looks to the left, they are inventing and if they look to the right, they are remembering. Perhaps you could put this theory to the test.