how to be a ninja!!!!

Saturday has arrived yet again, and although it is valentines day, i feel i should be completely off topic (i know, its shocking). Todays tutorial will have nothing to do with love, but with the art of being a master of stealthyhood... thats right, i said stealthyhood.


1. Decide upon a series of ideas, morales, and philosophies that you truly can live by.
Contrary to popular belief, ninja weren't always cold-blooded killers that did things that samurai refused to do. In most cases rogue/masterless samurai (Ronin) were the ones that caused most of the crimes in feudal Japan. Ninja came from all walks of life. Most ninja used their skills mainly to keep themselves alive to come home to see their families every night. Some ninja families however came under the service of a lord, or kept themselves isolated within their own clan. Decide on what you want to do first.

2. Never publicize that you are a ninja.
A ninja must be able to function as a spy, which means that you cannot reveal your status as an aspiring ninja, or else no one will trust you. Do not dress like the stereotypical ninja. The black outfits that most people associate with ninja are a construct of Kabuki theater, in which ninja characters were disguised as prop handlers (who always wore black to minimize their presence while moving props on stage).When you do wear ninja clothes, the idea is to never let anyone see you in them.
Learn how to move stealthily. Become adept at social and physical invisibility and silence. Walk silently Learn the appropriate clothes for the appropriate times. Do not stand out or draw attention to yourself in any way. Sometimes that may mean being sociable and friendly because in the modern world, a person who sits quietly in the corner arouses suspicion and is carefully watched.

3. Get and maintain a ninja body.
This does not necessarily mean becoming lean and muscular; it means building endurance, agility, strength and flexibility. Your body is a tool--as long as it can perform the functions of a ninja, it is a valuable tool. In fact, becoming too fit may be counterproductive, especially if you stand out as being the only slim or muscular person in the room.

4.Know how to escape.
No matter where you are, know how to get out of the situation as quickly and as anonymously as possible. This is a critical skill for a ninja, especially when performing missions. Historically, smoke bombs and firecrackers were used to create diversions, but you will have to devise more subtle techniques. When you enter a room, always be aware of every potential exit, and have several plans in place for how you can create a diversion if necessary. As you escape, strive to leave no evidence behind. One way that ninja accomplished this in the past was with ashiaro, or wooden pads worn on their bottom of their footwear and carved to look like an animal's paw or a child's foot so that the ninja's footprints would not be noticed.
Study ninjutsu. Ninjutsu isn't just a martial art but a skill set that is meant to provide the necessary skills to complete missions of espionage and assassination in a feudal setting. There are 18 different disciplines (note that samurai and shinobi (ninja) use the same techniques sometimes):

Seishin-teki kyōyō (spiritual refinement)

Taijutsu (unarmed combat, using one's body as the only weapon)

Kenjutsu (sword fighting)

Bōjutsu (stick and staff fighting)

Shurikenjutsu (throwing blades)

Sōjutsu (spear fighting)

Naginatajutsu (naginata fighting)

Sui-ren (water training)

Bōryaku (tactic)

Chōhō (espionage)

Intonjutsu (escaping and concealment)

Tenmon (meteorology)

Kusarigamajutsu (chain and sickle weapon)

Kayakujutsu (pyrotechnics and explosives)

Hensōjutsu (disguise & impersonation)

Chi-mon (geography)

Shinobi-iri (stealth and entering methods)

HackSa (A hacky sack/foot bag and your body are your only weapons)

Bajutsu (horsemanship)

5. Learn to control people and manipulate events not by force, but by words and actions. As a modern ninja, you should be able to obtain a goal without having to resort to any manner of violence. Use people's desires, needs and wants against them. Humans need security, wealth, pride, strength and to have their wants and needs satisfied. This is a key ability in most if not all events.

6. Feed your mind.
Ninja were often very knowledgeable. With knowledge comes power and this can help you become more knowledgable and also help you blend in more easily.

7. Master self control
A true Ninja is a master of his/her enviroment, which consequently requires one to be in control of one's self. To master one's self, learn to: Cut emotions out of the desicion making, engage in rational and logical thinking no matter what the situation is, make tactical desicions that may upset one's ego, finding the flow of situations/problems and one's place with in them, make desisions for one's own situations as if giving someone else advice... Applying this to every day life is a must, as it stand in the way of the mastery of one's self. If one cannot master self, one cannot master others, and their soroundings. Example: Engaging in physical combat due to probacation knowing one can defeat the threat may not be the best of interests for the big picture. Walking away while ridicule may hurt one's ego, but will keep one in the clear of the public's eye from things to come.

8. Silence is Golden
One's desicion to live by ninjutsu disiplines is not and should not be public knowledge. One's first responsibility is to learn and practice ninjutsu in secrecy, and privately. After all, one cannot be a master spy if one cannot keep something as simple as one's hidden identity a secret from those that surround us (Even if One lives with them.) Do not lead others as to what you may or may not know, or what you may be up to.